When Solon and Liam died, all boy noise ceased. Silence replaced lively conversations, music, movements — Fat, ugly, disturbing silence. What does a grieving parent do with the sudden silence? You have to find a way around it.

Just as an amputee continues to feel the presence of a severed limb, after the fire Chris and I awoke expecting to hear the joyful noise of our sons. Silence screamed the reality of their departure until slowly, sadly, we could wrap our minds around their absence. It took years.